I was very sad and in shock all day Sunday as was my husband and oldest daughter. They had just talked to him the very afternoon he died.
No one likes to talk or think about dying, but this really made me think. It also makes me realize that the things which I think are important may not be as important as I thought. We never know when our time up will be. Many questions ran through my mind after this happened:
Am I doing everything in my power to live for God?
Have I talked to you today God?
Did I say 'I love you' to my husband before he left for work?
Did I tell my children I loved them before they went to school?
How about my mom and dad - have I told them I love them lately?
Did I really need to make a big deal out of a petty situation?
Was it really necessary to lose my patience with my children?
Was the cause of my anger that important?
If I died, would people notice?
Am I making a difference in my world?
Am I ready to go?
Was I an example and a witness to my neighbor the way God wanted me to be?
What can I do now to help his widow and mother?
This is just a rambling of my jumbled thoughts about this weekend. Sadly, there was no memorial service for him so we weren't even able to pay our respects. I will miss him because he was always kind to our family. There was one time when we were so busy that our yard had not been mowed. While we were gone, he mowed it. And sometimes he and his wife would bring treats over for our children.
I hope that I am making a difference in my world. If not, Lord please forgive me and help me.